Ever since I failed at school and doing it all over again this freaking Astory started. From that moment on everything changed. Doing my absolute best I could in order to get good grades and with that praise, recognition and love.
With this life lesson I learned to „swim“.
To swim has been my main technique (in regards to work/school) for 15+ years. „Swimming“ in the sense of:
- Full concentration
- No excuses
- Full energy
- Never procrastinate
- Optimise everything
Over the years this technique got influenced by incredible and very talented people from all around the world. And me essentially trying to include this into my swimming technique.
- Daily strict routines
- Timetables with 30 min blocks
- 05am wake up, every day (w/ 6hrs of sleep)
- scheduled „creative“ time
- Only healthy food
- No alcohol
- No nicotine
Life and work got effective.
And with that more praise, recognition and love faded my brain. The problem is that I defined myself thru that. It lead to the point my entire self worth was based on what I do and not who I am. I never learned that. But what I am learning now is that at the end of the day you should be happy with yourself and who you truly are. At the end of the day, when you close your eyes, you are always on your own. No matter if someones around or not. You need to be cool with yourself.
To certain points in my life I felt like nothing can stop me. No sleep. No problem. No nothing. But well, my health could. If it‘s one thing I regret, it‘s that I didn‘t listen to my body. I was taking literally everything my body had in store for me and I blew it away like it‘s forever there. But it‘s not. My body and soul deserves time and love. Just as much time as I spend with others. I‘ve been living for others for a very long time. Now I‘ve been living mostly for my self for quite some time. And now its time to find the balance in between. The toughest challenge, if you ask me.